6MR: Oddities: Vampire Of The Mind Review

Doctor Who: 

Vampire Of The Mind

By Justin Richards

"Damien, Dominion, Dominous... any other D words i oughta know about?"

Vampire of the Mind is an excellent second part within what i am told is a Three Part Multi-Master Event within the Monthly Adventures.

I imagine it Probably has a lot of ties to The Two Masters, and indeed I probably will get around to listening to that once I hit my 7th Doctor run. However as a standalone story it leaves nothing else desired, Macqueen is at his best, Colin is giving a spectacular performance as usual and even Kate Kennedy as Dr. Heather Threadstone shines as a one off companion.

With the right amount of camp and a story that doesn't truly show all its cards till the end, Vampire seeks to do a bit of fanwank while maintaining itself as a solid story. I do feel as though its a shame this story could have been done with pretty much any doctor aside 8, but the pairing of Six and Bald!Master is delightful regardless.

Here be Spoilers

Of Authenticity and Fear

"Putting a quote at the beginning of something only makes you seem smarter to idiots"  -Unknown

Triggered by a number of recent self examinations I've come to wonder If who I portray myself to be is consistent with who i really am, or if it's the result of a toxic unending anxiety, a fear of rejection. While there are a number of things which i hold as a moral or ethical code based in nature and nurture alike, other things ive found I'm easily influenced by, especially when it comes to interacting with people i don't know. This has the inverse effect of me being stubborn and steadfast in my beliefs when challenged by people I do know and no longer fear Abandonment or judgement from. And if the individuals whom are way more wise than me, have agreed that, all the worlds a stage, that we are all constantly performing for others (see here) than I'm not entirely sure they're wrong based on my personal experience.

While I'd like to think I'm more authentic than most (Us Vs Them at its finest) I cannot and thus will not deny that I too have long worn a mask, many different masks and some of those masks i may not have even realized WERE masks. If you'll excuse the tired metaphor; I'd like to also liken it to the idea of Authenticity, and truly what can be considered authentic in a world where manipulation (as dirty as the word is) is as common as germs. Can anything really exist as it does without some form of Manipulative behavior?

Presumably anything that has Cognition cannot, i may be using that term wrong, but take for example a cat or dog, both are things some may view as innocent, too dumb to Manipulate anything or anyone. The mistake i think people are making is that both these creatures can and do manipulate us, and are fully aware of it, but theyd not view it as manipulation, nor would it be logical to assume their intentions were malevolent. 

A typical Cat meows most often in the presence of humans, not other cats, it has been theorized they mimic frequecies and sounds based on human babies to attract attention to the things they want. 

A Dog does a similar thing, by whining lowering its ears, looking away, or otherwise barking. 

These are all forms of manipulation but are they INauthentic? 

I think most of us would argue no. Humanity then is a tad more complicated, we dont always understand why we are doing things, saying things or otherwise performing. 

This is especially true when we act out of Fear. At least It is for me, and it took me a long time to realise that. So how many others are like me and haven't?

Basically I'm rambling again at 10PM because sometimes I wonder about this stuff. It's an interesting thought train though.

Til next Time, Stay Golden,

Mjax Majoran

The Silver Lining Of Dad Guilt

"Missing someone hurts, but whats hurts even more, is knowing that you're the reason that they're gone."

Hello Internet, sometimes i find myself wondering why it is in the last 4 years my biological father has increased effort to correspond with me, To be certain it actually started earlier than that, but during that time i was for lack of a better word, bluntly not interested.

Basically I had told him to die in a fire.

It was a year later after my 18th birthday that he came into town and urged me to come to a karaoke bar, he wanted to talk.

Obviously I didn't care. I had given up on the dude, but my other family members wanted to see me as well so I went for them...and probably because I was forced.

He started out acting as if nothing happened as he has tended to do for years, but then things changed... I think it was about halfway through the night, I struggle to recall if the talk or song came first but, at some point he dedicated a song to me. One with lyrics that seemed eerily specific. It was clearly chosen with some degree of thought.

After or perhaps before that, we had our talk in which I believe for only the second time ever, the man opened up to me.

There was no condescension, no random trivia or promises for future events he'd never act on, just him in a vulnerable state, saying his piece, apologizing and talking about things, that to my knowledge, nobody else could get him to open up about. And the part that bothered me the most was how similar this man was to me.

He couldn't have manipulated the reasons for why we're similar. Mind, it was how he said things, the way he moved, talked, the little things. He had no way of knowing.

And in that moment I didn't forgive him... not really, but I did offer him empathy. I offered him an open door with a spring-lock mechanism to boot him out if shit went arie. It's been years since then, every now and again he calls me or texts me on the IMs... not to brag or make promises, hell it is an improvement that he's even reaching out of his own accord.

No most of the time he just asks how I'm doing, if I have seen this thing we share an interest in, Or even a thing he doesn't like but I do. And while I still refuse to call the man Dad. Or send hearts or affection…

It feels like for the first time, he's making an effort not because someone told him to, but because he wants to. Course as i

I am cynical so I often dismiss it as guilt; dude has got to be in his 40s or 50s by now. And I really tore into him that one time. But maybe just maybe we've made some progress, both of us.

...

Today he messaged me again, said he just wanted to check in, I asked him in all politeness how he was doing.

He admitted to being...weirdly enough not okay! Being depressed in fact. Made a joke about buying a book from marvel to cheer himself up; and from there we just kinda talked like friends would.

And I would be remiss if i didn't say for once I enjoyed it.

Maybe someday we will do all those things he wants to do. I doubt it, but it isn't promises he can't keep anymore, just ideas for the future. Maybe that makes all the difference.

Stay Golden,

~Mjax Majoran

14/09/2020

The PR Vs CEO Vs Developer Conundrum

"Right answer, wrong answer, it matters not, your replies are all paper thin. Goodbye" -Origami Princess Peach

There is a distinctive if not overly important (right now) problem with Corporations and the way they communicate with the public. I'd of course say that of any Corporation  but today I wanna focus on The Entertainment Industry. Specifically in the only place I feel I can have a say. 

I also have to say this is all speculative and based on my experiences with NDAs and Social media clauses in general.It really rather seems what a "Artist" is "Allowed" to say is dictated by The Marketing and PR Firms of any given company, and in turn what they say is overseen by the elusive higherups.

What results in my opinion is a dissonance between what is said to us, and what the truth is. Regardless of its intent.

With a Middleman deliberately tasked with hyping up, apologizing on behalf of, or placating the public. It becomes hard to trust anything a Company's "Voice" says, and when individuals are interviewed I imagine they are very careful with what they say, how they say it and might not always reflect their own views.

This kind of thing might be good to placate and ensure good brand image, but it certainly makes it difficult to trust anything and often leads to misinformation or misleading assumptions on what Artists think versus what the company they work for thinks.

At least that is how  I see things working. I don't claim to be an expert.

What do you think? Let me know!

Stay Golden,

~MjaxMajoran

Love Is Strange. (Part 2/2)

"Love is More Valuable than Infinite Diamonds" -Mjax Age 6

Hello Again, 

So last Time I promised One thing kinda and then went on a tangent about the history leading up to it,

This time I'm going to for certain explain what that first Post was supposed to be about.

The whirlwind and confusion that I experienced after Entering my first real relationship was well confusing. I suppose it being long distance didn't help but while i Knew i was much happier and definitley glad id reacted the way I did, I found myself at odds with myself with feelings a friend likened to Imposter Syndrome, the state of mind where you believe that you are not the person who you tell people you are, nor who they see in you. Which I agree is pretty accurste to how i was feeling, I kept fighting against this thought in my mind that i was lying to them and myself, that I didn't truly love them, that Id acted rashly out of fear. Various things led to this I'm sure not least of all was the lack of hormone inbalance making everything seem less intense than with my first crush.

I kept questioning myself and others on what they thought was the truth, Was it fear of losing that person if I rejected them, or worse broke up with them because I was wrong, or Did I truly love this person and simply hadn't fully come to terms with this different kind of feeling, fueled by self doubt and other factors. 

Eventually I talked to them about it, straight up. after having deemed for myself that I infact did care about them more than anyone before, that I would be willing to self sacrifice for their well being, and that I probabbly wouldn't have even been this concerned if I didn't.

They reassured me about things and understood it quite well. I was and still am Damn positive I love this person, even if the "usual" signs weren't there at first. Besides, im neuroatypical so I'm not even completely sure if the Usual applies to me. I know the first time I fell in love was different from what I expected too. 

Anyhow, It's because my experiences were so different from how I normally see it described and shown that I wanted to delve into it, 2 years after the fact, to really describe just how Strange Love really is.

Until Next Time,

Mjax Majoran

What Is Love? (Part 1/2)

"Love is weird in humans, it kinda defies the usual chemicals and urges to procreate. Even as a cynic I find that pretty beautiful" -Mjax Majoran

Dear World,

So usually I'm all fancy and formal and pretentious with these entries but I really think this topic doesn't need, and in some ways doesn't deserve that kind of needless parody/formality.

I suppose My experiences with what I'll refer to as Romantic Love for clarity have been a bit Tumultuous overall. Starting with the whole "love is great and beautiful but its not for me, to a few dumb crushes which were mostly fabricated to get people off my back or because I figured they were cute-ish personality or Appearance wise. but most of those I don't think I'd ever consider Real, at least not in the way my last two... including my current; dances with romantic love have been.

It's important to know that I view myself very much as complicated when it comes to my Sexuality and Romantic interests, the closest labels applicable would probably be Asexual* PanRomantic.

The reason for the * there is that while I derive little pleasure from traditional sexual imagery, flirting, and the physical appearance of others. I am capable of enjoying Physical intimacy with someone I actually love romantically, even if it's partially or mostly due to their enjoyment by proxy. I am also quite capable of self pleasure though require Paraphilias or a long time to really get in the mood. traditionally Sexual themes do not apply to me.

With that Digression out of the way Let's talk about that First real Crush. In the interests of being mature I won't be saying their name or alluding to details which would allow someone who I didn't trust to discover their identity, As that would risk harassment of them which They do not deserve.

I found my first crush much in the same way i found my current love, the difference in their case was I was introduced via a mutual friend who had met them years prior and knew We were both into the same show at the time, it wasn't a matchmaking thing at all, my friend just figured I'd like someone to discuss the show with. This person and I became fast friends, even meeting in person so as to be more comfortable talking to each other (I wasn't even in high school at the time) And while I knew from the beginning something was different, I didn't yet know what. Overtime we became quite close in my opinions discussing all sorts of personal things and deep thoughts. Shit in retrospect probably led to the downfall of our friendship entirely. I won't say hormones had nothing to do with what happened, but Quite a few bystanders at the time did assure me what happened was in fact That i fell in love for realsies.

My biggest mistake was not being able to really read people well back then, that and admitting to my crush so soon in a game of truth or dare. There were other signs of course that I should have let go and moved on, the revolving door of relationships they had at the time (some of whom were objectively pretty immature and toxic) and never offering me a chance. I probably would have been better off if my assertion to myself that we were better off as friends wasn't being clouded by my hormones and legitimate feelings. At two points I believe I approached them myself, both times they gave valid reasonings that nevertheless hurt quite a bit and really got to me. In some of the final years shit got really messy as a meetup group for the show we created together started having drama, fingers were pointed every which way. And My crush just kinda disappeared off the grid. many Years later I found myself giving friendship another shot after we had ceased speaking for a long time, it started out fine, but turned sour when the "real" reasoning for having disappeared and consistently rejecting me came out. What prompted it was merely me reminiscing on positive memories that had nothing to do with it. Their reasoning while valid, was also hypocritical and manipulative. They deemed I needed to let go of both the good and bad, and move on, that memories would only fuel the fact that I was as a person Depressing.

It took me a long time to forgive them, and forgive myself. And while I would apologize and try to start anew, I think that their entire point was pretty clear. We were more different than I thought in that way.

My current Love, whom I hope to keep, I met before my first real crush, and in fact re-met after this whole shiz went down. I at first had feelings toward them, but due to previous experience and their significantly long distance I forced myself to repress them, which i Successfully did for many years. Anyway, a Couple years back and sometime still, They Started dropping hints, and i'm kind of well ace and autistic and sometimes dense so I never picked up on it. To be fair the hints were at first subtle, stuff I took for granted like drawings of our animal characters cuddling like animals do. It didn't even seem unusual to me when the actual flirtish jokes happened because that was just our humour, I really should have realised that nobody draws your characters over 100 times for free with extensive effort just because you're friends. and I mean the Friends With Art Benefits Joke? And the hearts drawn on some of the drawings. Yeah I was dense. Overtime though I really noticed certain things I either didn't or couldn't repress.

Listening and talking to them for hours about anything and everything, finding myself making joke plans to come visit them, always being more critical of their choices but supportive too. Not to mention the fact that, they just made me well happy. I guess i never acknowledged it as love again because what i'd felt during my first crush felt so much more like what the media tries to push as Real Romance, those feelings and actions that are hyperbolic in every article or movie. It made things hard to discern between a really close friend and something a bit more. At one point though They confessed to me, outright, and I guess I was expecting something deep or important when they kept struggling to just say it, but I know I hadn't been expecting it.

I recall turning red, and being unable to speak for a few moments... and then I just returned the sentiment, without second thought.*

It was a bit of a whirlwind after that, and its kind of the main reason for this post.

but since this is long winded enough I'll get into it on a second part.

Until then,

Mjax Majoran

Self Improvement and The Internal Struggle: A Pretentious Literary Analogy.

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." -Ernest Hemmingway

Dear World,

It's been some time since I updated this old blog and a lot of things have happened in the interim, I suppose the most notable things would require Posts of their own but to put things in perspective, on November 15th 2017 I in no uncertain terms entered into a romantic long distance relationship. I cannot be certain that it was meeting them in person (the following summer) for the first time since we'd met in 2012 that spurred me to Be where i Currently find myself motivation wise, but I have no doubts it was a contributor. 

I had told myself if I started doing these again they'd be less 900 IQ Galaxy brain, but I Somewhat enjoy the more formal writing style.

But I digress, It is now the final full week of november 2019, and as of recently i've rediscovered a motivation for self improvement in all areas of my life. Including Fitness, Health, Hygiene, Social Skills and of course Home Maintenence and Cleansliness. Through use of a similar app to the popular Habitica plus my own self disipline I've set and sought goals that are more tangible and in my face. This first week had some bumps I will admit, but I hope to develop some positive habits in the long run. This of course won't be the first time I have tried... I usually try quite q few times every year with mixed results. Usually starting with a cliche pep talk monologue, a week of slowly getting into the groove, a second week of absolute improvement and then one day Where i slip up and everything falls apart for several months. 

I can't help but compare this to the literary ideas of the Internal Struggle/External Motivation. For if I were a fictional character I'm quite sure why I consistently fail at what I've been doing would be the former, with my reasonings for even trying to, the latter.

External motivations like the physical health and wellbeing of myself, my family and animal companions, impressing job interviewers and an end to the constant reminders of my dwindling ability to be independant. And internal struggles like self image, self esteem, procrastination, bad decisions and even outright laziness. Not to mention the mental disorders which while not solely responsible, do contribute and enable these flaws of self. 

It is my hope that like a fictional character then, that I shall be able to rise above and overcome. Truly improving in all aspects by the end of my story.

Yours, 

Mjax Majoran

The Alteria Crew Part I: Jason Jaysnow Jr.

Basic Statistics

Name: Jason Jaysnow Jr.

Age: 15

Nationality: Altarian (Alternative Universe NorthAmerican)

Socioeconomic Level as a child: Richer than You'd expect

Socioeconomic Level as an adult: Set to inherit parents company


Hometown: Statera

Current Residence: Statera

Occupation: Student

Income: 500& allowance

Talents/Skills: Parkour Novice

Salary: N/A

Birth order: First and Only

Grandparents (Dead):

Relationship skills: Charismatic, Natural Leader

Physical Characteristics:

Height:5' 11"

Weight: 140lbs

Species: Alt Human (Conduit)

Race: (Caucasian)

Eye Color: Bluish Silver

Hair Color: Silver with frosted tips

Skin color: Pale, whitish

Shape of Face: Angular

Distinguishing features: Athletic but scrawny build, notable brow

How does he/she dress: Wears custom clothes made by his parents company, and designed by him

Mannerisms: A bit of a goofball

Habits: Tends to get into fights he can't win, also a bit nosy

Health: Generally of good health

Hobbies: Enjoys a good card game. Designing things, and art

Favorite Sayings: Life's only dull if you can't find the edge of your seat

Speech patterns: "Tends to talk quickly and without thinking"

Disabilities: Possible ADD

Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): Quirky

Greatest flaw: Easily angered

Best quality: Loyal to the end

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Educational Background: High Schooler Grade 11

Intelligence Level: 6/10

Mental Illnesses: Possibly ADD

Learning Experiences: Plenty

Character's short-term goals in life: Make Friends, Be Happy

Character's long-term goals in life: Change The World

How does Character see himself/herself: A generally nice guy

How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others: a rich asshole

How self-confident is the character: More than he should be

Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof: seems driven by emotion and intuition

What would most embarrass this character: Being caught naked

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths/Weaknesses: Loyal/Foolhardy

Introvert or Extrovert: Ambivert

How does the character deal with anger: Badly

With sadness: Depression

With conflict: The middle man or the one to step in

With change: Welcomes it

With loss: Fears it

What does the character want out of life: Good times and good feels

What would the character like to change in his/her life: others perception of him

What motivates this character: Change for the better

What frightens this character: Loss of friends

What makes this character happy: Food

Is the character judgmental of others: Not very

Is the character generous or stingy: bit of both

Is the character generally polite or rude: Generally crude

How the Character is Involved in the Story

Character's role in the novel (One of Four Heroes):

Relationships with other characters:

1. Amber Cinders: -- (From Babysitter to Best friend, Amber serves as both JJ's foil and right hand Gal, she acts like a parental figure at times and eventually treats him as an equal).

2. \Flower Mae: -- (Although at first taken aback by his exuberance, flower begins to view JJ as a sort of inspirational leader and good friend).

3. Zach Tekite: -- (Views JJ as his hero, but also his closest friend in statera, over time builds his own confidence to stand on his own).

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began:

SPOILERS HONEY!

Additional Notes on This Character:

Jason Jaysnow Jr. or JJ Is the Child of world renowned buisness owners Blue, and Jason Jaysnow, He is regarded by many incorrectly to be a Rich boy with everything in life handed to him, although quite the opposite he can't seem to lose that perception no matter what he does, Driven by a sense of good and evil that may be a bit too black and white, JJ values his friends over anything else, and forms bonds easily given the chance. While he's a bit nosy and curious, and maybe just a tad impulsive JJ has a keen eye for details and can usually figure out a situation given time.

An Overly Pretentious Title about Meta or Philosophy or Some Shit

“Hold On a second, let me rephrase it with a quotation” 

― An Asshat from the internet

Hello Nobody!



Just Call it Meta, its not canon its meta fictioooon! then slowly turn away. Hello All of you uh... random internet users from brazil apparently. Today we get to talk about one of my very favorite things... ME! Well that and metafiction and fourth walls but mostly me!

Now you're likely no doubt aware that this blog is run by one dude who barely has a grip on life, but did you also know he has personality traits evocative of someone who has ambitions but will never finish anything due to a lack of motivation? Well you do now. he also loves making cheeky reference jokes...and memes.

So let's finish something for once, and get down to business,



Draft saved at 5:11 PM 2018-05-30

Re:What does EQG Do that FiM doesn’t.

I found this article quite interesting, so I think I’m going to reply to it.

EQG does a few things that FiM does not in my opinion, but nothing that MLP FiM isn’t capable of, nor did not set the groundwork for. First and foremost I must explain that The whole Shimmy Vs Glimmy argument doesn’t apply anywhere in this article or my own, because had she been written a bit better, Glimmy could easily stand as a much different character to Shimmer, I bring this up because I want to make it clear I like Sci Twi and Shimmer more than Glimmer. And the reason, as the show and the movies have provided, is that Shimmer is on a quest for redemption in focus, while glimmer was forced into redemption then rushed along... I don’t believe this is the fault of writers entirely but as the article in question points out, a problem with format.

Glimmer could easily have several episodes focussed on her development, but to do that would distract from the mane six and the world as a whole. Since the show has always been about the latter, making it about the former would upset the status quo.

EQG focusses primarily on the redemption stories that MLP only dabbles in. But not because MLP cannot focus on character building, but because it chose not to. But then, in a way so did EQG, the excuse I often hear for this is that these mane six didn’t learn the lessons the pony mane six did; But given the canon prequel to the series and their depictions in the movies, I have to doubt thats the only thing at fault. Its In that way I’ve never particularly cared for the human incarnations, because just like MLP they introduced two new characters, and then tried to focus on both the original five and the two deeper set ones. What was sacrificed was depth in the original five themselves. Animal shy girl, Honest working farm girl, chick obsessed with fashion, sports compettive nutbar and spastic party chick that guesses everything on point. Then there is sci twi and shimmer, whom are so deep and complex its almost jarring in comparison.

What I’m trying to say is EQG does something that FiM decided to do aswell, did arguably better, but failed in the same way. by suffering from Seventh Ranger syndrome. How do you focus on your main cast while still developing your new cast without creating a sort of distance, a percievable gap in development
It’s my hope with the miniseries of shorts overtime EQG can overcome this gap that MLP has decided to simply overlook and force. But in the end... EQG does precisely what FiM does... just with a different coat of paint.