Love Is Strange. (Part 2/2)

"Love is More Valuable than Infinite Diamonds" -Mjax Age 6

Hello Again, 

So last Time I promised One thing kinda and then went on a tangent about the history leading up to it,

This time I'm going to for certain explain what that first Post was supposed to be about.

The whirlwind and confusion that I experienced after Entering my first real relationship was well confusing. I suppose it being long distance didn't help but while i Knew i was much happier and definitley glad id reacted the way I did, I found myself at odds with myself with feelings a friend likened to Imposter Syndrome, the state of mind where you believe that you are not the person who you tell people you are, nor who they see in you. Which I agree is pretty accurste to how i was feeling, I kept fighting against this thought in my mind that i was lying to them and myself, that I didn't truly love them, that Id acted rashly out of fear. Various things led to this I'm sure not least of all was the lack of hormone inbalance making everything seem less intense than with my first crush.

I kept questioning myself and others on what they thought was the truth, Was it fear of losing that person if I rejected them, or worse broke up with them because I was wrong, or Did I truly love this person and simply hadn't fully come to terms with this different kind of feeling, fueled by self doubt and other factors. 

Eventually I talked to them about it, straight up. after having deemed for myself that I infact did care about them more than anyone before, that I would be willing to self sacrifice for their well being, and that I probabbly wouldn't have even been this concerned if I didn't.

They reassured me about things and understood it quite well. I was and still am Damn positive I love this person, even if the "usual" signs weren't there at first. Besides, im neuroatypical so I'm not even completely sure if the Usual applies to me. I know the first time I fell in love was different from what I expected too. 

Anyhow, It's because my experiences were so different from how I normally see it described and shown that I wanted to delve into it, 2 years after the fact, to really describe just how Strange Love really is.

Until Next Time,

Mjax Majoran