Self Improvement and The Internal Struggle: A Pretentious Literary Analogy.

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." -Ernest Hemmingway

Dear World,

It's been some time since I updated this old blog and a lot of things have happened in the interim, I suppose the most notable things would require Posts of their own but to put things in perspective, on November 15th 2017 I in no uncertain terms entered into a romantic long distance relationship. I cannot be certain that it was meeting them in person (the following summer) for the first time since we'd met in 2012 that spurred me to Be where i Currently find myself motivation wise, but I have no doubts it was a contributor. 

I had told myself if I started doing these again they'd be less 900 IQ Galaxy brain, but I Somewhat enjoy the more formal writing style.

But I digress, It is now the final full week of november 2019, and as of recently i've rediscovered a motivation for self improvement in all areas of my life. Including Fitness, Health, Hygiene, Social Skills and of course Home Maintenence and Cleansliness. Through use of a similar app to the popular Habitica plus my own self disipline I've set and sought goals that are more tangible and in my face. This first week had some bumps I will admit, but I hope to develop some positive habits in the long run. This of course won't be the first time I have tried... I usually try quite q few times every year with mixed results. Usually starting with a cliche pep talk monologue, a week of slowly getting into the groove, a second week of absolute improvement and then one day Where i slip up and everything falls apart for several months. 

I can't help but compare this to the literary ideas of the Internal Struggle/External Motivation. For if I were a fictional character I'm quite sure why I consistently fail at what I've been doing would be the former, with my reasonings for even trying to, the latter.

External motivations like the physical health and wellbeing of myself, my family and animal companions, impressing job interviewers and an end to the constant reminders of my dwindling ability to be independant. And internal struggles like self image, self esteem, procrastination, bad decisions and even outright laziness. Not to mention the mental disorders which while not solely responsible, do contribute and enable these flaws of self. 

It is my hope that like a fictional character then, that I shall be able to rise above and overcome. Truly improving in all aspects by the end of my story.

Yours, 

Mjax Majoran