"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
-Bob Marley
Dear World,
It seems this time we have a very important question from one of our acquaintances.
"Kinda curious about your thoughts on asexuality and whether you think it significantly affects or changes relationships (friendships or otherwise) you get into"
Well that's a curious question, I guess in order to discuss that a few things would need to be established. First of all, as a Virgin I cannot rightfully claim asexuality as 100% my sexuality. I can however describe the feelings I have toward sex. Its gross, the idea of it makes me feel uncomfortable. I also have to state that I have never been in a formal relationship beyond that of friends or family. With that out of the way one must also understand that Asexuality is a well documented condition, perhaps more so than even trans gender which isn't a sexuality but then again in the same way it's not a sexuality, Asexuality ONLY is.
The Difference Between Sex and "Love"
Yes, there is one...though the two often go hand in hand especially when it comes to religion or basic instinct, however Asexuality has a distinct issue which makes it quite illogical in nature, it does not affect ones preference of partner or the ability to experience or pine for romantic relations with another person. Not only is this well documented I also have my own experiences with Love...and while I initially blamed it merely on hormones, the realisation that I had no wishes to commit sexual acts with the person, and the comfort ability with rejection so long as I was still able to be near that person and see them happy, convinced me it was more on the legitimate "love" side. Seeing as this person was very sexual in their relationship nature, I'm not entirely sure a relationship would have worked with them anyhow.
Aromantic people are against being close to anyone who isn't family and sometimes even them, this isn't an excuse for lonely people either, its simply a dissociation with the bubbly feelings most people get out of it. often separate from asexuality it is not uncommon for the two to cross paths.
Love is simply a deep emotional care for another being, and sex is an act that can be preformed without any legitimate connection to another person, so why can the reverse not be true? What you feel and what you do are totally different, and it's entirely possible for the two NOT to intermingle.
The Instability of Romance without the follow through
Well This I can't talk about from experience but I can offer a guess. In much the same way it is rare to find someone who will never want to have kids, It will also be incredibly difficult to find a match who won't ever want sex...unless compromises are made. Sex is an uncharacteristic "need" due to the instinctual desire to procreate...which is why this desire dies down with age and sometimes after a successful birth. So how could a relationship really work?
Well I presume it might work in much the same way a friendship, a family or a non traditional relationship might... especially since Asexuality does not forgo preference of gender in romance!
No true sex would ever need to happen, simply a presence would be good enough, and if not, there are plenty of non traditional "Kinky" things partners can do.
The Effect On Family and Friends
Well I can only speak from experience here, but once you're comfortable in your sexuality you may begin simply not caring about the usual boundaries...simply because you yourself do not feel awkward about them...anything from being okay with hugs and touching, to making sexual jokes which family may interpret as you being Gay, Bi or Pan. While I have yet to find these things have any SIGNIFICANT changes to ones ability to make friends or maintain positive family relations I simply don't have all the data in front of me or in my experience.
That's All I really got, thanks for reading and stay wonderful
Sincerely,
~Mjax Majoran
