Back in the Saddle

“Better to write for yourself, and have no public; than to write for the public and have no self.” -Cyril Connolly

 

 

Dear World,

I guess we're really doing this then, the writing thing... i mean we have tried before, man i miss that iPod app. Not too totally sure why talking to a random stranger on the internet inspired me to actually do this... maybe its just how things are right now.

Trying this app out, not entirely sure I trust it, but for references sake all of this, or most of it was written on an iPad Air 2, Using BlogPad Pro. So that's who to blame if it all goes tits up. I guess if I'm really going to do this, you're going to need to understand who I am... who I used to be, what led me to this point.

But maybe I'll leave that for a time when it really matters. the point is at the time of writing this I was 19 years old, with a steady yet horrible job working for a fast food company I can't mention here yet, and have recently gotten a second job working for a slightly more respectable business which due to an NDA on Social Media, I can't name or talk about either, Additionally I have a grand total of 1 close Real Life friend. One. the same friend I've had since i was 4. 15 fucking years. In addition to them I have had exactly 3 friends in elementary school, an uncertain number, but basically round-able to 1.5 in junior high, and a few in high school. all of different races, backgrounds and ethnicities... I'm by no means biased except from my own interpretations of reality. My online life includes an account on pretty much every social media site that has existed and continues to exist for the last 5 years, none of which I really use all that much. and as of a few years ago, i began sticking to the pen name of Mjax Majoran and Markjake; more on that in my about section.

The last two or three years can be summed up by my relationships with two people on different sides of the globe... relative to me.

One a TransMasculine from Germany, the other A Bisexual HFA from Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. why did i mention their sexualities and major disorders? Because I feel in some ways it's important to note that I have and continue to be friends with misfits, mismatches... and people of like minds...

So what exactly is the point of all this. Why write down stuff like this, with minimal editing straight from the brain to the page just hoping it makes sense? I'm not sure, maybe its people saying I'm a good writer, though I believe they mean non fiction, maybe its because i've been told it helps depression, maybe its just because I can? or because I feel like I really ought to get these thoughts out there, even if others never read them.

I just need to vent, and if I shout out into the wide abyss who can really complain... if you read it, you chose to. Point is that this is my space, this is where I exist. where I am free. This Is Real Life; With me.

Sincerely Yours,

 Mjax Majoran